I lost my vision.
I. Lost. My. Vision.
As a consequence of conjunctivitis+ flu+ driving-for-eight-hours, I was confronted with blurry vision, a pounding headache and overstimulated fluids. I could’t open my eyes because they were so terribly sensitive to light. They were so puffy that it felt like they were given an anesthetic. Only, it hurt way to much to be numb.
Someone asked me my greatest fear. To be blind, I had said. To be blind.
I was so terrified, I forgot to eat until my mom asked me (I think that was around 12 hours into my handicap). And I never, I mean never, forget food. Ever.
‘What if this doesn’t cure?’ I thought as I felt my way to the freezer for the fourteenth time for a cold eye compress.
‘What if I remain forever with blurry vision? No vision?’ I wondered as I felt my way to my glass of water to counter my drained fluids.
What if this is the end?
After close to three quarters of the day with no relief, I started to take the predicament to insane levels. I’d call my parents first, I thought. They’d get here in a day. Then they’d help me go back. Maybe I’ll be OK. Maybe I could pursue a career in media still, even without vision. Maybe I could be an inspirational artist. Maybe my other senses would heighten because of this loss. I’m pretty sure that I would have googled ‘lives of the blind’ or ‘how to make your life count when you’re blind’ or ‘jobs for the blind’ if I could see. It looks almost humorous in black and white now, but for those moments, nothing seemed more like reality.
Today, I woke up with aching but clear eyes, a solid 34 hours later. I thanked the gods, promising to take my sight more seriously. Take care of yourselves awesome readers. You never know the value of something until it’s faded, or gone.
❤
P.S. Stevie Wonder, you are God’d child. You are an inspiration. *Respect*
Stop Waiting For Summer 