Hello? Is Someone in There?

I live in LA.

Most of my life I’ve lived in cities.

Most of my life, I’ve been blessed to find at  least one person who I connected with. One person I could rely on and trust. And it’s completed me and grounded me. It’s propelled me towards more materialistic and artistic goals. It’s kept me happy.

But LA is weird. Though I connect with more people than ever on a daily basis, it feels like I’m constantly running into all these walls. Walls of defense people build for safety from the big bad city. Somehow, somewhere, between making a living and being famous, people seem to have lost a sense of humanity. Lets not even get into ethics. *Eyeroll*

I’m still luckier than many. I have people that care about me and I about them. It’s more push and pull than before, though. Perhaps its vigilance. Perhaps it’s mistrust. Perhaps it’s experience. But it’s like being constantly on your toes to make sure that you don’t lose out on their friendship and support. There’s also a lot of drama and confrontations involved. A lot.


A whole bunch of a lot.

Sometimes I feel like I’m on the set of Gossip Girl. There’s always some situation that gets complicated. There’s always some explanation to give. There’s always someone on a vendetta. There’s always someone who cries.

Maybe I’m ranting. Overanalyzing, maybe.

But, I wonder if more people feel like that about friendship as they grow. Share if you like! I’m listening…

Thanks for reading! Ciao for now! ❤


  1. Wow! So much came to my mind as I read your post. I can identify and at the same time see that your dealing with something that I haven’t experienced yet. I remember when I moved to Colorado and was trying to make friends with new people I encountered a barrier that I had never encountered before. It was like in the time it took to go from middle school to high school, the rules about making friends had changed. I could no longer just go up to someone and say “hey, do you want to play” or “do you want to be friends”. Also, I found that just being friendly with someone was often met with hesitancy and suspicion. Perhaps it was due to those awkward teen years because now people respond well to my friendliness.
    Conversely, people in Colorado are also more relaxed and a bit nicer than people in California. They aren’t so stressed about getting to here and there. I remember when my mom and I were driving in an ice storm, not long after we moved here, and a car slid out of control past us missing us by an inch. The person got out of his car at the stop light and came up to our car. I told my mom to lock the doors thinking this guy was going to be pissed off. We both got tense and my mom barely cracked the window open to let the guy talk to us. The guy turned out to be totally nice. He was concerned he had hit us, wanted to make sure we were OK and apologize to us. In California, the scenario would have played out completely differently but this was Colorado and we had to learn to lighten up about some things.
    As far as friendship drama goes I try not let it get to dramatic. I don’t think that I could handle constant crying and vendettas. However, drama does tend to creep in one way or another. Right now I feel like I have more friends than I have had in a long time and there is a lot more drama. I feel like I’m in a strange place right now and I’m not quite sure what to make of it.


    1. It’s exactly that Heather.The rules of the game changes depending on where you are. Often times, you feel lost even in a crowd. It’s like you’ll get to the second barrier and then either you’ll lose patience or you’ll realize it wasn’t worth the effort. I agree about the California thing. Ambitious (and/ or creative) people are often more caged up. It’s ironic because they are also some of the most open minded people you’ll ever meet. I guess as long as you do your thing and be sincere, you’ll be happy you tried. 🙂 ❤ BTW, Colorado seems like a wonderful place to live (hopefully, I'll get a chance to drop by)! Cheers to the human experience!


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